I’ve just come to the conclusion that God is punishing me for something, otherwise he wouldn’t allow my continuous torture and mental anguish. I mean how hard is it for the top U.S. men’s magazines (Maxim, FHM. . .hell, even Playboy) to get their shit together and publish a spread like the one you’re now looking at? Is it really too much to ask? I don’t know, maybe it is. Maybe the folks responsible for putting such things together are reading this right now and are getting a kick out of my ongoing frustration at their bullheadedness (it’s a word. . .look it up). Or maybe my brain is just short-circuiting after looking at all that scattered ass. Eh, I give up. Enjoy.
